What 12 Years in Maine Does to a Car

So I took my car in for its state inspection yesterday. My only real concern going into it was the ever-failing parking brake (parking brakes on 1996-era civilian Crown Victorias suck, by the way); boy was I in for a surprise.

The mechanic came to get me in the waiting room to “go over the list,” which did little more than reset my expectations.  Now I figured it would need some brake work and maybe a little more.  Nothing big.  Well, I was both right and wrong.  The list was as follows: license plate light, rear passenger-side shock, and front brake lines would need to be replaced in order to get a sticker.  I instructed the mechanic to get the rear driver’s side shock while he was at it.  So far, so good.  Then the mechanic listed the other things he noticed: the front driver’s side brake wasn’t wearing the rotor right (indicating a broken pad) which might need to be replaced for a sticker (he couldn’t tell without taking it apart), my tires on the rear were still snow tires (I knew that), and my oil pan was starting to rust through.

Before we got to the oil pan, we were still in the sub-$1,000 repair category.  Once I saw the oil pan, though, I knew I was getting into trouble.  I noticed that the front suspension sub-frame surrounded the oil pan.  I asked the mechanic if the pan could come off from the bottom.  He informed me that the engine would have to come out in order to replace it.  Yikes.  For those of you who don’t know, an engine removal goes something like this: remove hood, disconnect the wiring, coolant and fuel lines, exhaust, possibly some accessories, remove the radiator, disconnect the engine from the transmission and motor mounts, remove the engine.  After you set the engine back in place, you reconnect EVERYTHING and hope like hell it all still works afterwards.  If that doesn’t give you a good idea what a pain in the ass that process is, replacing the oil pan gasket on my 1985 Mercury Topaz back in the day went something like this: remove pan, replace gasket, replace pan.

I’m taking the car to a friend of mine back in Cumberland who is a mechanic.  I’m not sure if he’s equipped to do the job, but if he is, I’d rather pay him.  He’ll also advise on whether a coating of epoxy paint might do the trick for now or whether we should go ahead with the repair.  While 12 years of driving on de-iced roads in Maine has not helped my oil pan problem, a quick search of the Internet reveals that this is a common problem with these cars.  It irks me a bit that an otherwise easily replaced common part wouldn’t be made more robust considering its difficult-to-reach location.